30-60-90

Breathe in...breathe out. I have been driving for 20 years. WOW-I really am that old. I got my learners permit at 14 in Valley Center, KS where they allowed you to drive to and from work and to and from school. It was a farming community so that seemed logical...my family didn't farm. So, my tender 14 year old brain ended up driving everywhere and anywhere my parents needed me to and that included a treacherous cross country trip through the then under construction Rocky Mountains in the middle of the night in the pouring rain. That, as you can imagine, lead to heavy breathing, panicked crying, and a map slapped against my head with a loud man's voice saying, "Susie-pull it together!" I did. The sting of the map across my forehead helped.
In my 20 years of behind-the-wheel map trauma experience, I have a definite weakness for the maintenance of vehicles. I don't know how to change a tire, I hate getting gas, the thought of any repair over $50 makes me cry and/or vomit....all cars should come with a personal maintenance expert that tells you automatically what needs to be done when and oh yeah, its paid for. I know it seems so far fetched...enter our purchase of a used Infiniti. They nailed it, all inclusive...bear claws and fresh brewed coffee while you wait....warnings that show up on the GPS screen informing you with a big green wrench that your oil needs to be changed....all inclusive warranty packages. It's fantastic!!! Until you get to the dealer....
Welcome ma'am, what can we help you with this morning? the man with the tag bearing his name sweetly asked. I am here for my 10am oil change appointment, I said in my informally irritated that I was the one taking it in for the said oil change voice while my head was screaming, you know why I'm here, my husband scheduled the oil change and you are looking at my file...why are you asking me this?
Ma'am (btw...small digression...when does someone become a ma'am?) would you mind following me to my office and having a seat? (baboom, baboom...that is the sound of my heart pounding out of my chest in eager anticipation of why he wants me to be seated....) Am I visiting the hospital, did my sweet appointment setting husband not pay the car payments and the dealer is repoing it???
Ummm, ma'am in researching your cars history we noticed that you did not service your vehicle at the maintenance required 30,000 miles. We would hate for you to negate your warranty and would like to offer you a loaner car for the day so that we can get you all set.
How much is getting "all set" going to cost me? We were just here for our 45,000 mile service and no one mentioned the skipping of the 30,000 mile. I exhaled out slowly....$800???? I am here for an oil change, I am doing what the warning box told me...I am a woman in a man's world...here for an oil change. I am here for an oil change, I am here for an oil change. I suddenly became Rain Man, repeating the reason I was there...many times.
Realizing he was dealing with Rain Man, he began to explain...You see ma'am, your vehicle needs to be serviced every 30,000 miles. You skipped the 30,000 mile service. Your vehicle needs this at 30,000...60,000 and 90,000 miles he smirked at me as I was nodding my head and frantically calling my husband. Will you please talk to him? I pleaded.
They chatted. They hung up. Ma'am you are late and we need to schedule your 30,000 mile service...you are at 52,000 miles so this will count for your 60,000 mile service. What, how does that make any sense? What happened to the required 30,000 mile service? Ma'am you need it at 30,000, 60,000, and 90,000 miles-THATS WHEN I INTERRUPTED...oh help me and forgive me....I looked at him and said loudly in THE most southernly accented, eyelash batting tone...I AM FAMILAR WITH INCREMENTS OF 30!!
Insert man with name tag jaw dropping here.

I re-dialed my husband. They chatted. They hung up. Car done in an hour.
I wonder if an I'm sorry card should be sent and interestingly enough the brakes are making a noise...note to self, husband required to take car down to dealer....

I'm a very good driver...I'm a very good driver...